Grief


Okay. Here we go, another ‘real’ post. I mentally did this whole post last night in my head while trying (unsuccessfully) to sleep. Another tentative title for this was ‘The one thing I hate about having a cat’, but I thought that might be a little long. So, here we go; the one thing I hate about having a cat.

For some reason, this thought never strikes me when I’m in a good mental state and would be able to process it well. That would just be too easy! It has to creep up on me, usually at night, when I’m trying to sleep. I was thinking of random things last night and trying to calm my brain down when I looked over and saw Dobby. My brain immediately¬†went to ‘someday, you’re going to lose him.’ As you can probably imagine if you have a pet or something else you care really deeply about (maybe your phone – I don’t judge), once that thought hit me, I was a wreck. I immediately¬†started crying, which isn’t really a productive way to get to sleep. So there you go; the one thing I hate about having a cat is the thought that someday I’m going to lose him.

Grief

Grief is one of those things that aren’t talked about. It makes people uncomfortable. For most, this is probably because they don’t know how to deal with grief themselves, so how can they be expected to help another deal with it? I’m not going to give you the answers because I don’t know how to deal with grief. I’ve had quite a few moments of sadness in my life. Some I can now talk about and not tear up over, others I’m still waiting for that day.

I was thinking last night about how I’ve only lost one other pet in my lifetime, my hamster, Twistie. I had Twistie when I was about 8 years old. Like many people, I don’t remember much from that time. I do remember being really upset when Twistie died. I insisted that my hamster had to have a proper burial. As many 8-year-olds, I was soon invested in getting another pet. That’s beside the point of this post. I don’t remember how long it took, but I am now able to look back on the good times I had with Twistie and feel happy about those moments.

Twistie

Even though Dobby isn’t yet two, I was thinking of the time that I will eventually have to either put him down (hopefully at a really old age with a long, happy life lived) or watch him struggle through a sudden illness resulting in death. Of course, the first scenario is way easier to think about. I have time if we are going by that first scenario. There will be many years for me to live with Dobby and cuddle with him.

Dealing with grief?

Thankfully, I have not had to deal with many deaths in my short life so far. However, each one is difficult to deal with. There is really no good ‘one size fits all’ response to grief that I have found. But I do know that it is a real human emotion that most everybody experiences at some time in their lives.

After this very upsetting topic came up in my thoughts, I was lulled to sleep by a cat laying beside me and purring. He hates seeing me upset, and that is my biggest motivator to try to even out my feelings. Not get rid of them, just make their effect a bit more stable.

Let me know in the comments if you have any good tips for dealing with grief!

Cheers,

Fiona

One thought on “Grief

  1. Sarah says:

    Having a best friend like you is super helpful for grief. I’ve found that usually no one can “fix it”. It takes good hugs, a listening ear, lots of tears, and love. Always appreciate what you write.

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