Otherwise titled ‘I have a problem…’ I want to do everything! Okay, so maybe it isn’t as ‘problematic’ as we usually attach to that word, but it’s kind of a big deal to me and has been exhausting trying to figure it out. A renaissance woman is someone who has many talents and wants to have a lot of hobbies and not just focus on one thing. Emma Watson mentioned it in one of her recent interviews (I believe it was for Beauty and the Beast, probably on the special features) that she wants to do it all. My dad also had ‘being a renaissance man’ as the tagline to his website when I was growing up, so I first learned the term when I was really young. This was originally called ‘I have a problem….’, but I changed it after I finished (probably also to save that title for any number of posts that may come after this one – lots of areas in my life could be considered problematic.
So what are the problems with this? Why is this titled I want to be a renaissance woman instead of I am a renaissance woman?
Problem 1: I want to do it all
- I want to start being more active: yoga, running, going to the gym, taking walks outside, you get the picture. Anything to get my body moving in a healthy way that releases some endorphins (and might make me more toned as an added bonus).
- I want to get better at photography! I recently splurged (big time) and bought myself a new camera. There will be a post on this later because it was a big thing for me to do. However, I feel like I’ve barely used it! Yes, whenever I take it out I end up filling up at least half of my 64gb memory card (for those not as well-versed in technical terms, that is almost 2,000 photos), but I want to use it more. To go out exploring with my camera (and maybe my cat) by my side and just be, taking pictures along the way. I want to have photoshoots with friends! I want to try to better my photography so that I might be able to sell some of my photos! I want to try it all, from pet photography to wedding photography (p.s. if you know of anyone who’s getting married and already has a photographer, I’d love to get in contact with them and see if I might be able to shadow the photographer at their wedding and take some pictures for free to get more experience). I even want to try landscape photography!
- I want to bullet journal. Or just journal at all. I always seem to run out of time for this one. I really love the idea of having my habits tracked in one place, my schedule in the same place, my ‘journal’ on the next page, and a space for all the extra organization stuff I never seem to get around to.
- I want to play with my cat more! This is kind of a no-brainer. Who doesn’t get joy out of playing with a cuddly little ball of fluff?
- I want to train my cat. Yes, it can be done. It’s different than training a dog, but I know that my cat and I can work together to get it done. We are working on sit, which is going pretty well, given that I’m not practicing it routinely with him. Sit pretty, which is the second one we’ve started on. I want to start on walking practice. He is trained to walk on a harness, but not to walk with me. He goes his own way. I want to work on ‘touch’, and maybe even ‘high-five’ (although that one will be tricky, as he associates my hand coming down with treats, and isn’t getting the movement I need to click and treat him – frustrating for both of us).
- I want to write more! I used to write all the time! Mostly just strings of my inner thoughts arranged on paper like formless poetry. I miss doing that! I really do. And when I get going, I can’t stop!
- I want to blog more. You may (if you’ve been following my journey on here) have noticed that I was inactive for about 4 months. I have stuff I want to write about! I want to share my life and my cat’s life and other fun looking stuff!
- I want to read. I used to be an avid reader when I was younger, and I want to get back to that. Even if it’s only reading young adult fiction (there’s no shame in that), it brings me joy.
- I want to learn! Summer should not be a time for me to stop learning. I want to watch all the college lectures that are online about biology, chemistry, vet studies, and possibly even history!
- I want to have REST time. Time where I don’t feel as though I need to be doing anything. Time where I can lay on my back without listening to anything or reading anything, without being on my phone, and just be.
- I want to watch more documentaries! I always find them fascinating, particularly ones about history (NOVA anyone?).
- I want to spend more time talking to my friends! Family (friends are part of my chosen family – not saying my actual family isn’t!) is important to me. It’s been months since I’ve called my great aunt, and months since I’ve talked to my friends from college either through text or Facebook Messenger. There are so many ways to connect nowadays!
- I want to learn everything. There is a wealth of knowledge on the Internet and in books and I want to know it all!
- There are probably a whole lot more things I want to do that I will face-palm myself for not including tomorrow when I think of them. So, there may be a part 2 of this post in the near (or far) future.
Problem 2: I don’t have time!
Okay. So here’s the thing with this one. We all get the same 24 hours in a day. We’ve all heard it before (or if you hadn’t, you just did), but it seems like there is so little time in a day!
Between sleep (which takes an astronomical amount of time), personal hygiene (which, let’s be honest, sometimes gets pushed to the back burner, so this is obviously not an order of importance list), work (and I really do love my job, but it takes up A LOT of time), raising a cat (like raising a child, except without the tax deductibles and fear of raising the next school shooter), eating, and trying to get in some relaxation time, it adds up! Yes, I know what you’re thinking. ‘You have to make time!’ Easier said than done. I am hoping in my hopeful mind full of rainbows and unicorns that making this post will help me get my life together. Or maybe that’s what the whole blog is for. Who knows.
Problem 3: There are difficulties with each thing I want to do!
Most of the difficulties rotate around not having enough time. However, I will specify some of the ones that have their own challenges built in.
Blogging: I am trying to get over not being perfect. I don’t have to have a featured image that I took and edited myself for every post. I don’t need to include links to external sites on every post. Not everything has to be perfect!
Reading: I check out as many books at a time as the library will allow me to, wanting to read them all, and then they all just sit around on the floor as I do (see below).
Learning: I have a problem with learning through books, but especially online. There is just so much out there! For example, a few weeks ago I was wanting to learn more about ISO for my photography, so I looked it up on YouTube. And then I found library books. And then I found online ‘courses’ about it.
Soon I had 40 videos that all looked amazingly instructive in my ‘watch later’ playlist, had put 10 books on hold at the library and had put several dozen courses in lists to watch on various different learning sites. Who has time for all of that?! There is just so much information that I don’t want to miss. Who knows when someone will say something that just clicks the subject for me. It could be 20 minutes into the 38th video in my ‘watch later’ playlist on YouTube, and if I hadn’t watched them all, or hadn’t been paying precise attention, I would have missed it.
Resting! There is so much that I want to do (see above), and resting just doesn’t seem productive enough. If I’m resting for 20 minutes, I could have skimmed 2 books on ISO from the library, and listened to a podcast on the biology of life, but instead I would have chosen to do nothing, and let myself and my mind rest. It just seems like a waste!
Documentaries: Even though I find documentaries fascinating, I always tend to zone out about half way in and start worrying about all the other things I could be doing (see above) instead of watching the documentary. Usually this leads to me multitasking, so even if it says I watched the documentary, I didn’t absorb any of it because I was absorbed in 5 other tasks at the time.
Family! I mentioned that I have not called my great aunt in a while, and as horrible as it will be to say this (especially because she reads this… please understand! It’s not you!), it again feels as though I don’t have time! I always get the urge to multitask, and soon I’m trying to spread my attention between email, watching all the interesting videos on my ‘watch later’ playlist, playing laser tag with my cat, and talking on the phone. It’s not that I don’t want to connect, I really do!
There’s just so much that I want to do, and my life is so unorganized currently. I also do not like small-talk. ‘Hey’ ‘Hi’ ‘Hey!’ ‘What’s up?’ ‘Not much. You?’ ‘Not much.’ is one of the WORST types of conversations to me! I love connecting with my family (including chosen family), but I need to have time for a meaningful conversation, the type that usually does not and cannot happen, over text.