My Fantasy Self

Do you have things in your living space that you want to use, but never do? This could be something like a coloring book because you’ve read all about the benefits of mindfulness coloring and are someday going to sit down with a cup of tea and color for hours. Or a set of ice skates that you bought because you took one ice skating class and decided you were going to be the next Olympic skater (or just thought you’d be good). Maybe makeup, because you just know that one of these days you will start waking up with a smile on your face and putting on a full face of makeup every day! Yes, these might be (slightly embellished) things I have or used to have that my fantasy self would use.

What is a fantasy self?

A fantasy self is an ideal version of yourself that is perfect and does everything. Now I’m sure you know this, but nobody does everything, as there are limits to time in the day, and nobody is perfect. I searched many YouTube videos on this topic (just search fantasy self on YouTube) and have watched the first 6 or so results from my search. If you’re more interested in what it is, go check out a few of those videos. A while ago, I posted a post called I want to be a Renaissance Woman, which I now realize was me pretty much laying out my fantasy self. A fantasy self is different from having goals. A goal is something realistic, a fantasy self, when you really think about it, is just that: a fantasy. A fantasy self characteristic doesn’t mean you will never do it, it just means you won’t do it as much as you tell yourself you will.

My fantasy self

My fantasy self plays piano very well. I even wanted to buy a small portable piano for my dorm room (thankfully, I didn’t – for me, it would have been a waste of money). I do like playing piano every once in a while, but I’m not that good, and I don’t love it so much that I will play every day, even if I had a piano right there in front of me.

My fantasy self also plays guitar and sings (think Taylor Swift’s older albums, without being that famous). I currently cannot hold a tune that well. Some days I’m better, some days I’m worse. It depends on how my throat is feeling that day. I have never taken singing lessons, and I probably never will. My singing moments consist of singing in the shower and occasionally singing in the car.

My fantasy self is an excellent dancer, both ballet and lyrical. The reality is that I have never taken a lyrical dance class, and, even though I love to dance, I will probably not take many dance classes again, at least not trying to be serious about dance. I almost went out and bought a pair of pointe shoes on Amazon, along with a pre-professional tutu and other dance equipment. When do I realistically have the time and desire to do ballet with pointe shoes in my room? Okay, occasionally. But not enough to warrant spending 200+ dollars on gear.

My fantasy self takes her camera with her all the time. I enjoy taking pictures, but I don’t feel like I can really take my camera around everywhere with me.

My fantasy self reads. A lot. Real me doesn’t read as much as I want to, however, I don’t buy textbooks and read 24/7. I have not read through the whole library, I haven’t read all the classics, and I haven’t even read some of my textbooks for school.

As I said earlier, fantasy me loves ice skating. Real me likes it, but it’s really too cold and falling down is not fun. Huge blades on the bottom of my feet are also not a great idea for someone who’s accident-prone. I did take a few months of ice skating lessons, so the ice skates weren’t a total waste. And the lessons were fun, but I am probably never going to take ice skating lessons again. And that is okay.

Another thing that I said earlier; my fantasy self wears makeup every day and has a makeup bag filled with Urban Decay, Stila, Tarte, and other name brands. Real me doesn’t wear makeup, at least not often. I can’t even remember the last time I put on foundation. I do like getting all made-up, but I never do. However, I still have my Urban Decay foundation and powder, and my Stila lip gloss. The only times I really wear makeup is occasionally putting on lip stuff and/or doing my brows. (Never underestimate how put together you can look just by doing your brows)

My fantasy self makes tea every night while doing a 30-minute mindfulness practice and coloring. Real me doesn’t. Yes, I love having tea and it is part of my goal night routine.  Yes, I do eventually want to practice mindfulness – maybe not for 30 minutes every evening though. And those coloring books stress me out. I am not the best colorer. When I make a mistake, it stresses me out. When I’m coloring, I’m tensed and hunched over the desk like an 18th-century alchemist. I love seeing pretty pictures, but it’s not for me.

My fantasy self knits. I have a ton of yarn and I really enjoy making things. However, knitting is tedious and I get bored with projects really easily. Also, I’m not much for knitting while watching YouTube, and that is what I do all the time. I still love to knit though, but knitting all the time is fantasy me.

My fantasy self is excellent at selling items. She never has too much stuff or a ‘for sale’ pile, because it always gets listed on Ebay right away, instead of sitting in a gigantic pile in the middle of her closet (guilty).

I could go on and on, but I think this is enough for now.

What should I do when I figure out what ‘Fantasy Me’ wants?

Fantasy me is just creating clutter and anxiety. The giant box of knitting supplies in the corner creates guilt every time I look at it and realize I haven’t picked up my knitting needles in almost a year. The giant pile of stuff to sell screams at me every time I open my closet. You get the picture. The things I buy and keep for my fantasy self cause anxiety and create unnecessary clutter. No, I am not going to get rid of all my yarn, but maybe if I find someone who wants some I may let some of it go. No, I’m not going to toss all the things to sell in the goodwill box, but I might take a few things out.

In the end, life is too stressful to have added ‘stuff’ creating anxiety. Life is all about enjoying the happy moments, which can’t be fully enjoyed with that little nagging voice in the back of your brain saying ‘hey – you haven’t used this thing you  spent money on’.

Comment down below what your Fantasy Self wants and if you have clutter around that you can get rid of because of your Fantasy Self.




2 thoughts on “My Fantasy Self

  1. Heidi J Sewall says:

    Excellent essay, Fiona. I haven’t heard the term Fantasy Self, and I really like it. I use the term fantasy addiction, because, for me, there is a lie happening whenever Fantasy Self comes to mind. I may not see the lie–the untruth–but it is running the show. Thanks for a good article.

  2. Candi Betts says:

    Fiona, i love your photo. It’s a beautiful layout. Interesting essay. I just learned something a few days ago: we are who we are. If we are collectors, that’s probably not going to change; late to rise, just how it is. But we are much more than what we might want to change about ourselves. So now i am going to stop worrying about what i think i would like to change and look toward my talents. Fantasy self sounds to me like the normal course of events for a young adult to follow in figuring out what they desire out of life. It’s all trial and error till you find what you are looking for. That ‘find’ will lead to all sorts of other possibilities. The road never ends. That’s what i think😊.

Let me know what you think!